The new rule is that Madeline is to attend her own Young Women’s Activities every Wednesday.  She has been invited to different wards but on the same night.  I allowed her to go once but was left with a feeling of guilt.  After talking this through with Madeline (calmly; yeah for me!) we agreed that she is support her leaders.

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IT IS WORKING!

Yes, I am aware that I used all capitalized letters, but I am so so so excited.  After years of trying many different things, listening to several words of advice I have finally found something that works to keep Madeline’s room cleaned.  

Let me explain:

Every April I realize that Madeline’s school clothes look pretty shabby.  For me this is a justified reason to go shopping.  I love shopping.  I have to admit there was a time that I was so addicted to shopping.  It really does make you feel good. (I can completely relate to the Shopaholic)  Anyhoo…After a day of shopping for summer clothes I come home and realize that this girl needs absolutely nothing!  She can not seem to take care of anything, because it is ALL over her floor.  I begin to lecture about responsibility  and she reminds me that this happens every time we go shopping.  (this conversation was not as pleasant as I am making it)  The discussion ends with the decision that I will be returning everything.  After a couple of days of mulling this over, I come to conclusion that she could “earn” her clothes: For every week that her room is clean she will earn one outfit. Then the problem is hers, she is in control.  We have had a successful week and are in the beginning stages of week two.  I hope it continues.  Wish me luck!

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September 1, 1995

I am so excited to be a mom!  This is all I have ever really wanted.  I want at least six.  The last eight months have been pretty easy compared to the stories I have been told.  I never had morning sickness.  The only time that I even felt nauseated was during the last couple of months (in the evening).   The summer was torture.  It was so HOT and I had heat rash everywhere!  I was always hungry.  I craved fresh fruit, green beans, fruit loops cereal (dry), ice cream, peanut butter, Mexican food and Diet Coke.  I am (was) always tired, I can never seem to get enough sleep.  Overall, I think pregnancy is easy.  

The title of “mom”  did not really become a reality until I felt you move for the first time.   I hope that I am the best mom.  I want you to have everything and anything.  I am nervous, scared, and not too sure of myself.  I know that being a mom will not be easy,  but I know that I will love you. 

I wonder what you will look like, what kind of a personality you will have, if you will have my feet (I hope you do not have my ugly feet), if your pinkies will turn in (like your dad’s), if you will have his nose (on the ultrasound it looks like you have his nose).  I know that no matter what you will be wonderful to us.  

We have called you Maddie since the end of March (if I remember correctly).   It was your dad’s choice, if you would have been a boy your name would have been Wyatt.  

I am looking forward to meeting you Maddie.  I love you.   

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March 1995

March 1995

Our first ultrasound picture:  your dad carried it around in his wallet for a while. 

It’s A GIRL!  Your dad is so excited.  For me I wanted a boy first.  I am not sure why.  Maybe it is because I can barely handle my own emotions, so the thought of handling the “up and down” emotions of other girl seems overwhelming.  It will be nice to have a little girl.  I am sure there is a reason why Heavenly Father thinks that I need a little girl first.  

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A Girl’s Weekend

Laundry. Housework. Bridal Shower. Peanut the Bunny. Salt Lake City. Little America. Litza Pizza.  Too many people. Parking. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Conference Center. Y.W. Presidency.  Prophet. Uplifting. Virtuous. Courage. Sing. Prayer. Walking.  No Shoes. Little America. Tennis Shoes.  Ahhh! Smith’s Market Place. Dressing Room. Swimming Shorts. Belt. Jelly Beans.  Littlest Pet Shop.  Wendy’s. Buy 2 get 1 free! Little America. Television. 12:00 a.m. Sleep In! Hot Tub. Brunch. Waffles. Grapefruit Juice. Bacon. Sausage. Crab Legs. Crepes. Salad. Stroganoff. Fresh Melon. Chocolate Dipped Strawberries. Apple Juice. Chocolate Cake. Crème brûlée. Carrot Cake. Hash browns.  Stuffed! Alpine. Twilight Documentary. Nap.  Krey. Addy. Cameron. Lasagna. Prince and Me.  Rio. Cake. Candles. Sing. Visit. Kisses. Home.

This weekend we had the opportunity to go to Salt Lake to the Young Women’s General Broadcast at the Conference Center.   I wanted to make the weekend special so I added in an overnight stay at the Little America Hotel.  I love you, Maddie!  Thanks for a great weekend!  (no contention!)

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What if…

I know that many of you think Madeline and I have some strange conversations.  I really thought planning a funeral would be the only conversation that would “shake” me.  However today I was put into the strangest, unnerving, and horrific scenario.  WARNING: This conversation involves sex, rape and how I would react.

Maddie: Mom what if I got pregnant before I was married? 

Mom: (in a little shock but trying to remain calm) I would be very angry with your choices, I would encourage to give the baby up for adoption and we would seek counseling.  I love you and I would not disown you but I would not be happy with your decision. Nor would I be pleased with the choices that you had made prior to getting pregnant.  

Maddie: So you would not make me move out? 

Mom: No, but you would lose alot of privileges around here.  

Maddie: If I give my baby up for adoption can I visit my baby. 

We continued discussed for  at length the legality behind adoption, her rights (the fact that she would not have any since she gave up her child) and the joy that a baby would bring to someone else who could not have children.  

Now here is the hard part….

Maddie: Mom, what if I was raped.  Would you disown me then? 

Mom: (trying not to find a mental picture of this situation and trying to remain calm): No, but we would have to seek a lot of counseling.  We would have to discuss abortion, adoption, and filing charges against your rapist.  I want you to come to me immediately so that we can help you.  

Maddie: (acting as if this is a normal day to day question) Alright thanks mom.

Fellow readers are you ready for this conversation?

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Thanksgiving 2008

I am never quite sure how she feels about her days with the Morris Family.  I did call her around 5:30 and asked if she wanted to come home.  Her response “Why would I do that? I am having a good time”.    She spent most of the evening with them.  That evening the Morris clan went to the 8:00 showing of Twilight. 

My Point of View: Maddie has a hard time choosing the Morris’ over the Halls’ generally because she does not want to hurt feelings.  I feel that my family is so involved in Madeline’s life that she should spend as much time as she can with the Morris’.   It takes a little persuasion, and reasoning from me but eventually she will go.  I feel bad sometimes that she misses our family gatherings but over all my family sees her 90% of the time.

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